In order to learn from our mistakes, we must feel that life is fundamentally safe; that we will not face eternal divine punishment. Only in a sense of safety will I be able to refrain from denying, excusing, and covering up my mistakes. I am strong enough to carry regrets that enable me to remember and say, “I won’t do that again.” But I do not have to carry the shame that will only cause me to repress and fail to learn.
William Martin 